Change
by agentcalliope
Summary: He had said to her once that the last thing he wanted is for things to change. She told him it was too late for that. Jemma thinks about change and Fitz and the past- and what it means for the future. (written right after 3.15 Spacetime)


He had said to her once that the last thing he wanted was for things to change.

She told him it was too late for that.

And that was only in the beginning, as they walked through a white-blanketed forest blindly following wherever Coulson was leading. They pressed forward, knowing that even though SHIELD wasn't really SHIELD and everything was in chaos at _least_ they still had each other. Jemma decided that she could endure change because being on the run wasn't so bad as long as she had Fitz.

When Ward, whose hands had once saved her from her watery grave, sent her to her watery grave and she screamed his name as she and Fitz fell through the sky, Jemma almost reconsidered her opinion about change. If SHIELD hadn't changed and if Ward hadn't changed, then she wouldn't be at the bottom of the sea waiting to die.

Yet Jemma decided, again, that she could endure change because even dying couldn't be so bad as long as she had Fitz.

And when Fitz, misty eyed and trembling, told her that she was _more_ , pressing the oxygen into her shaking hands and telling her to _take it Jemma take it take it-_ Jemma did. She took it and screamed and he slammed the button, so when she pulled him up to the surface Jemma left her belief about change at the bottom of the sea to die in their place. She decided that she couldn't endure change anymore because change took Fitz away, and all she wanted was her best friend back.

Jemma had said to him once that Skye was her friend, and that she was different.

Fitz told her that _he_ was **her** friend- then he changed, and how did she handle that?

He was right: she wasn't able to handle it. She didn't and she couldn't and she has never regretted anything more in her entire life because she had left him. Jemma had once thought that as long as he was by her side, they could face anything- but she forgot that she needed to be beside him the whole damn time too. It didn't matter that he had trouble with words, and that his left hand shook sometimes. It didn't matter if she thought he would be better off without her.

It didn't matter that she decided that she could endure change because being without him wouldn't be so bad as long as he got better.

It didn't even matter that she was right.

And she knew that not only did change take Fitz, but it took her too.

When she had fallen onto blue, alien, gravel and screamed while her heart pounded and arms flailed, change came again. How could she not succumb to it? Every second, every minute, every hour allowed change to seep into her bones, infusing itself within her so strongly it became a part of herself as much as Fitz was.

How much Fitz _is_.

Because Jemma has asked May if she thought they could change the future.

And May has told her that every move they make changes the future, and that the real feat would be changing the past.

Jemma recognizes that she has been subconsciously trying to change the past- imploring him to start over because she unable to bear how he was here but _not_ here at the same time. Asking him to travel back in time with her, back to the two people they were once; endlessly inquisitive and about to embark on a relationship that will change their lives but don't know where it will go.

 _Change their lives._

She realizes that May is right, and so Jemma chooses to make the next move.

She says to him now that she thinks they're supposed to hold hands.

He tells her nothing- but somehow tells her everything all at once.

Ash instead of snow swirls from the sky, and she can't help how fast her heart beats when she takes his hand and intertwines her fingers with his. She finds herself saying that maybe somethings are inevitable.

She really means that _change_ is inevitable.

Change happens, and there is nothing to do to fix it. He has changed and she has changed but it has made them who they are now, and right now they are who they need to be.

Change happens, but they will always be Jemma Simmons and Leopold Fitz- best friends, and more.

Jemma smiles, holds on tight to his hand and to her love.

And she decides that she can endure change because change isn't so bad as long as she has Fitz.


End file.
